He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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