he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
