thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
