I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
