I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
