margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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