You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
