matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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