I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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