So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
