Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
