Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
