The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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