dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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