You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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