so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
