Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
