I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
