sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
