You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
