He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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