Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
