I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
