You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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