that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
