When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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