he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
