I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
