I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
