Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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