i think my tv is drunk
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
