I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize