It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
