she takes plan B like it's going out of style
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
