soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
