my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
