there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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