please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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