I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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