I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
