I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
