it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
