11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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