So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
