Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
