I must be too annoying 4 u.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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