Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize