the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
