this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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