he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize