we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
