my mouth tastes like poor choices
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
