If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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