is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
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she sounds like chewbacca in bed
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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