I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
