So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
