I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Randomize
