I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
