Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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