I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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