Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
