So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
