Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
