The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
