weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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