U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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